Sex and Ramadan, they're not related.

Except for today, because they’re both in my blog entry. So which one to tackle first?

Ramadan is coming up soon, and if you don’t know, it’s a whole month of fasting and prayer. Done correctly, one doesn’t eat or drink any water from sun up to sun down, all month long. My question is, do I participate? It’s cultural. My PCV friends say that it gives you a certain amount of street cred if you say you are fasting. My hangup is that I;m not Muslim. Everyone knows this and its not been a problem. I don’t want it to seem that I am somehow mocking someone’s religion by participating ( I also feel stupid every time I have to introduce myself as Fatumata, the name of the Prophet’s daughter. It sounds dumb when I am obviously not a Muslim. Should have changed it, too late now). For example, if I said I were fasting, the next question would be, are you praying? I don’t feel like having a long discussion on what prayer constitutes prayer, so the answer would be no because I am not praying the way they pray. And so what’s the point? My other reservation around fasting is less philosophical, more physical. I’m hungry all the time anyway, I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t eat. Nothing would be accomplished all month long. And not drinking water is not an option. I don’t like to do things half-assed, so it makes me think I shouldn’t try it at all. But it’s cultural, and it might be a good experience. And I should at least put on a show of support and solidarity (even if I were eating, I would certainly have the respect to do it in my house) for my family and community. Suggestions? Am I mocking people by participating in their religious practices when I am not a believer? Should I just fake it? Should I go all in and just do it?

And now to the sex discussion. Some youth in the community asked me for condoms this past week. That’s awesome. In a culture where age of sexual debut is quite young, and many people have multiple partners, I was glad to hear that this person wanted to be safe. I advised they go to the nearest health center, about 2 K away, where I was told that condoms are distributed for free. The young man who had come to me said that he had already gone to the health center, but that he had been turned away empty-handed. The health center had told him that they did not want him to take condoms that he had gotten for free, then turn around and sell them to make a profit. Hmm. Well. I would think an organization promoting sexual health would distribute condoms for free, regardless of the risk that someone may profit. Or, even so, my solution would be to flood the market with free ones, then no one would even think of buying them from anyone. We could hang them from trees! Give them out as prayer gifts--instead of money or candy! If the president would throw condoms into the crowd instead of huge boxes of cookies, then maybe fewer children would be run over by his motorcade…and also people might make safer choices in their sex lives.
Anyhoo, so in the meantime, before I could figure out what exactly was up with the health center, I got some condoms from Peace Corps to distribute. This is not a sustainable solution, but if someone wants to be safe, I want to make that choice available. We had a short how-to session, slapped a few of those rubbers on my sunscreen bottle for practice, and he was ready to go!
When I finally did go to the health center to investigate how easy it was to procure condoms, I discovered that indeed it was not. Each time I introduced myself as a PCV, saying that I had some inquiries from people on where to get condoms, and wanted to know exactly where to direct them to make it easiest. After inquiring in a few different departments, I was shuffled from office to office, and it got a little old. Finally, I found the place I needed to be, way across the health center compound, I was directed to a small office, way at the end of a side hallway. And the man who would distribute them to me wasn’t there, he was in a meeting. Seriously? I never would have found it, nor would I have stuck around to wait for the man. Now, add to the situation that I’m some awkward teenager who doesn’t want to be there in the first place, Jesus, no wonder condom use isn’t all that widespread.
So I’m not sure what to do. I’ll still direct people there, but I’d rather have someone in my community willing to distribute them (but will men seek them if a woman is distributing? Will women seek them from a man? What if the person is old?). It’s not sustainable for me to keep doing it(and super awkward. If I give someone 8 condoms, then they come back to me 5 days later for more, I don’t want to think about that! I don‘t want to monitor anyone‘s sex life!), but I will until something better can be arranged.
And that’s all the news that’s fit to print. And I’ve got heat rash. good story, whitney