All this time I thought loofahs came from the ocean, mostly because regular sponges do.
but as it turns out, loofahs come from The Gambia. ;-) and i'm sure other places too.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Slkfjsdljf
Laksjdlskdjfkjdf
Alskfhdklsdfjkjsfdkj.
This past week or so has been kind of a pisser. Want to hear?
Alright, so I wrote a few weeks ago about having discussed condom use with the students at the school. Before I did those lessons, I mentioned to the teacher coordinator that we were going to discuss sexual and reproductive health, including condoms. Then, I did the sessions separately with boys and girls. A month passed and we moved on to other things.
Then, a week and a half ago, this teacher coordinator called me into his office to say that what I had done was wrong, and anti-Islam, etc etc. While I was surprised and a little annoyed that he had taken to long to tell me, he was very respectful in his tone, and seemed to try to make it a dialogue between two people with differing points of view, rather than a wrist-slapping. That’s fine. I’m open to discussion and I know that religion is a big part of people’s lives and decision-making processes. What I was NOT ok with was the fact that he spoke about me to students when I was not present. I’m pissed that he may have tarnished my credibility with them, and I told him so. His opinion is that we should preach chastity and virtue only, and that to discuss condoms as a safety measure gives students license to sleep around willy-nilly(does the argument sound familiar?). OF COURSE I encourage abstinence. It’s the safest option and the only sure-fire way to keep your body healthy. It’s just not practical to only give people that option.
My problem is that up until this point, I really respected this man. I still do, though I really disagree with him on this point. He and I both care about the students, I just care more about the here-and-now, he is more concerned with the hereafter. I wanted to be respectful of him and of the faith and culture while still pushing for a more practical education for the students. So when this teacher invited me to his house to discuss the issue, I went. I wanted to show that the lines of communication are open. At his house, I met one of his very devout friends and was subjected to two hours of complete bullshit. His friend began with questions and speeches meant to convert me(have you ever wondered why you were created? (Let me blather on about the wonder of the universe and it‘s creator), and when I pointed out that this was off-topic from what I came to discuss, he moved on to how the West is corrupting the youth, and that if I teach condoms etc, MORE unwanted pregnancies and HIV transmissions would result. He also gave me grief about child’s right’s advocates coming over and saying that people shouldn’t beat their children (actually lots of people have been giving me hell about this lately. There seems to be a mass misunderstanding about Child’s Rights--teachers, parents, and kids alike). And he guessed that I was probably going to try to encourage homosexuality because that is acceptable in my country (not touching that one, it’s illegal here and I’m not trying to be labeled a witch and hauled off by the government). Moreover, he seemed to like having the threat of pregnancy and HIV as a weapon and stigmatizer, so that if someone became pregnant or infected they could be labeled a “fornicator” because only through premarital sex could any of these things happen. God wouldn’t allow them to happen any other way.
This discussion was exhausting for a number of reasons. I really struggled with how far I wanted to push this issue. I attended this phenomenal waste of my Sunday morning because I am aware of how America is viewed, and I didn’t want to seem like I was unwilling to listen, know everything, hating on Islam, etc. but I also think that this is important info for kids to have in the fight against HIV.
Luckily, I have been able to talk to the headmaster about the issue. Sex education, including condom use, is part of the school curriculum for senior secondary schools. I brought in text books to demonstrate, and also the official literature from the organization who supports the Peer Health Clubs on the national level. This curriculum is government sanctioned, and if someone has a problem with it, they have no right to attack me personally about it. Gambia is not an Islamic state. This high school is not an Islamic school. While religion can be part of the discussion, it cannot be the ONLY discussion. The principal backed me up, which I was grateful for, I just worry about the effect this disagreement may have had on the students and our relationship.
As a side note, what is it with religious fanatics and their obsession with sex? Why are those rules the ones they like to enforce so strictly? When there are lots of rules in a religion, why do people think that there is wiggle room in some(like in this case, I know that there are other rules of Islam that this teacher breaks and he says that there is room for interpretation but be damned if someone wants to protect themselves from HIV) , but the ones governing sexual practice are to be held hard and fast (ha. No pun there, promise.)
Why does everyone care who is doinking who?
Laksjdlskdjfkjdf
Alskfhdklsdfjkjsfdkj.
This past week or so has been kind of a pisser. Want to hear?
Alright, so I wrote a few weeks ago about having discussed condom use with the students at the school. Before I did those lessons, I mentioned to the teacher coordinator that we were going to discuss sexual and reproductive health, including condoms. Then, I did the sessions separately with boys and girls. A month passed and we moved on to other things.
Then, a week and a half ago, this teacher coordinator called me into his office to say that what I had done was wrong, and anti-Islam, etc etc. While I was surprised and a little annoyed that he had taken to long to tell me, he was very respectful in his tone, and seemed to try to make it a dialogue between two people with differing points of view, rather than a wrist-slapping. That’s fine. I’m open to discussion and I know that religion is a big part of people’s lives and decision-making processes. What I was NOT ok with was the fact that he spoke about me to students when I was not present. I’m pissed that he may have tarnished my credibility with them, and I told him so. His opinion is that we should preach chastity and virtue only, and that to discuss condoms as a safety measure gives students license to sleep around willy-nilly(does the argument sound familiar?). OF COURSE I encourage abstinence. It’s the safest option and the only sure-fire way to keep your body healthy. It’s just not practical to only give people that option.
My problem is that up until this point, I really respected this man. I still do, though I really disagree with him on this point. He and I both care about the students, I just care more about the here-and-now, he is more concerned with the hereafter. I wanted to be respectful of him and of the faith and culture while still pushing for a more practical education for the students. So when this teacher invited me to his house to discuss the issue, I went. I wanted to show that the lines of communication are open. At his house, I met one of his very devout friends and was subjected to two hours of complete bullshit. His friend began with questions and speeches meant to convert me(have you ever wondered why you were created? (Let me blather on about the wonder of the universe and it‘s creator), and when I pointed out that this was off-topic from what I came to discuss, he moved on to how the West is corrupting the youth, and that if I teach condoms etc, MORE unwanted pregnancies and HIV transmissions would result. He also gave me grief about child’s right’s advocates coming over and saying that people shouldn’t beat their children (actually lots of people have been giving me hell about this lately. There seems to be a mass misunderstanding about Child’s Rights--teachers, parents, and kids alike). And he guessed that I was probably going to try to encourage homosexuality because that is acceptable in my country (not touching that one, it’s illegal here and I’m not trying to be labeled a witch and hauled off by the government). Moreover, he seemed to like having the threat of pregnancy and HIV as a weapon and stigmatizer, so that if someone became pregnant or infected they could be labeled a “fornicator” because only through premarital sex could any of these things happen. God wouldn’t allow them to happen any other way.
This discussion was exhausting for a number of reasons. I really struggled with how far I wanted to push this issue. I attended this phenomenal waste of my Sunday morning because I am aware of how America is viewed, and I didn’t want to seem like I was unwilling to listen, know everything, hating on Islam, etc. but I also think that this is important info for kids to have in the fight against HIV.
Luckily, I have been able to talk to the headmaster about the issue. Sex education, including condom use, is part of the school curriculum for senior secondary schools. I brought in text books to demonstrate, and also the official literature from the organization who supports the Peer Health Clubs on the national level. This curriculum is government sanctioned, and if someone has a problem with it, they have no right to attack me personally about it. Gambia is not an Islamic state. This high school is not an Islamic school. While religion can be part of the discussion, it cannot be the ONLY discussion. The principal backed me up, which I was grateful for, I just worry about the effect this disagreement may have had on the students and our relationship.
As a side note, what is it with religious fanatics and their obsession with sex? Why are those rules the ones they like to enforce so strictly? When there are lots of rules in a religion, why do people think that there is wiggle room in some(like in this case, I know that there are other rules of Islam that this teacher breaks and he says that there is room for interpretation but be damned if someone wants to protect themselves from HIV) , but the ones governing sexual practice are to be held hard and fast (ha. No pun there, promise.)
Why does everyone care who is doinking who?
Monday, March 1, 2010
Nonverbal Communication
MAN its hot outside. Our cold season this year was, like, a week long. Now its back to hot and dry with strong harmattan winds blowing from the northeast. The wind isn’t cool and refreshing though, its hot like standing underneath a hair dryer all day. Yikes. But hey, the cashews will be here again soon, and then the rains will come (and then the mold will come ;-/) and then the mangos will come!
With my Mandinka skills being as so-so as they are, I thought I would devote some space to Gambian non-verbal communication. Without even noticing, I use quite a few in theh day-to-day. Here are my favorites.
This is the general question hand. It means “where are you going?” or “how much does this cost?” Start with the palm facing downward, then dramatically turning the hand over. A driver might make this gesture as he approaches to ask if you are going his way, and whether you want a ride. This same interaction happens in reverse when hitch-hiking.
Eh?
This is a more emphatic version of the same gesture, and I usually translate it as “What the hell?” The hands clap together, then both sharply turn palms up.
WTF?
This is a threat. It serves as a warning to a child that if he does not stop what he is doing, he will be beaten. It is done by holding the middle finger steady with the thumb, then shaking the hand forcefully so that the index finger slaps against the middle finger. The louder the sound the better. Sometimes the threat continues as follows.
I am going to beat you.
Until you die.
Then I’m going to eat you.
This one is my favorite. It begins with arms bent at 90 degree angles to the body. They then they are brought sharply down to the sides (think of the chicken dance. Its like one chicken flap). Sometimes it is accompanied by the declaration “Mbang!” but just the gesture is understood fine. It means “I refuse!”
With my Mandinka skills being as so-so as they are, I thought I would devote some space to Gambian non-verbal communication. Without even noticing, I use quite a few in theh day-to-day. Here are my favorites.
This is the general question hand. It means “where are you going?” or “how much does this cost?” Start with the palm facing downward, then dramatically turning the hand over. A driver might make this gesture as he approaches to ask if you are going his way, and whether you want a ride. This same interaction happens in reverse when hitch-hiking.
Eh?
This is a more emphatic version of the same gesture, and I usually translate it as “What the hell?” The hands clap together, then both sharply turn palms up.
WTF?
This is a threat. It serves as a warning to a child that if he does not stop what he is doing, he will be beaten. It is done by holding the middle finger steady with the thumb, then shaking the hand forcefully so that the index finger slaps against the middle finger. The louder the sound the better. Sometimes the threat continues as follows.
I am going to beat you.
Until you die.
Then I’m going to eat you.
This one is my favorite. It begins with arms bent at 90 degree angles to the body. They then they are brought sharply down to the sides (think of the chicken dance. Its like one chicken flap). Sometimes it is accompanied by the declaration “Mbang!” but just the gesture is understood fine. It means “I refuse!”
Whatsoever a man can do, yadda yadda yadda
Hey all. So here’s something that I’ve found difficult. It seems to be coming up often lately, so I figured its worth writing about. The issues of women’s equality and empowerment is one that many people play lip-service to, partly because lots of NGOs get money to do “sensitizations” on the topic, but from what I can tell, not much is sinking in. Yes, you may say that “whatsoever a man can do, a woman can also do” but do you believe it?
It’s a sticky topic to discuss, partly because of the resistance that I meet from both women and men, but also because if I get worked up then I can’t be effective any more. The last thing I need to do is mouth off about how women here are oppressed, it puts people on the defensive and isn’t helpful. In other words, I really need to control my temper. I can’t get mad just because someone isn’t living my dream.
Oddly, I meet a lot of resistance on this topic from women. Women here do ALL the housework*--cooking, sweeping, laundry, bathing the children, fetching water, plus often some small income-generating activity like selling vegetables from the garden--and quite frankly they’re PROUD of it. They keep their family fed and healthy and it’s a big point of pride for them. I’m not trying to take that away from anyone. Usually when I mention that American men cook, clean, do laundry, and take an active role in parenting, they respond by asking what I do? (usually this conversation happens when some woman is asking why I won’t marry her son/nephew/any Gambian man) Replying that I would go to the workplace and ALSO share in some of the housework, it doesn’t seem to be enough. Women are going to the workplace in increasing numbers here, and they are still responsible for the housework, and most get offended when I wonder aloud if that will change. My friend who is a teacher says that she used to teach all morning, then come home to cook lunch for her husband, then go back to work (this has changed since a second wife joined the family). The best I can say is “Yaama, that sure sounds like a lot of work.” She said that if she saw a man cooking, that she would complain that his wife was not good. Another female professional demanded that her husband hire a maid to cook and clean for them, but in no way demanded that he pitch in.
I’ve been similarly frustrated when talking to women professionals about working conditions, being a minority in the workplace, etc. I want to conduct a discussion on it in an up-coming Women’s and Girl’s Empowerment Camp, and was looking to see if people experience the same frustrations I do when working with Gambian men and balancing work and home life, and giving them a place to discuss coping strategies. I was baffled when no one mentioned any of the same frustrations. Do they not get pissed when a man talks over them? Does it not chap their ass when they are asked to do some menial task that the man is fully capable of doing himself? I don’t want to fish for these answers particularly, but I was surprised when they didn’t come up.
So how to discuss equalizing work loads without taking away someone’s pride in the job they do? Slowly slowly, Gambia. You’ll get there.
*Its important to mention that men do work too, of course. They build houses and fences. They dig wells. Men dig furrows for the rainy season crops. They slaughter animals. Its just that these jobs are seasonal, and so the Daily Working to Sitting-on-Their-Butts Ratio is a whole lot heavier on the sitting side than it is for women.
It’s a sticky topic to discuss, partly because of the resistance that I meet from both women and men, but also because if I get worked up then I can’t be effective any more. The last thing I need to do is mouth off about how women here are oppressed, it puts people on the defensive and isn’t helpful. In other words, I really need to control my temper. I can’t get mad just because someone isn’t living my dream.
Oddly, I meet a lot of resistance on this topic from women. Women here do ALL the housework*--cooking, sweeping, laundry, bathing the children, fetching water, plus often some small income-generating activity like selling vegetables from the garden--and quite frankly they’re PROUD of it. They keep their family fed and healthy and it’s a big point of pride for them. I’m not trying to take that away from anyone. Usually when I mention that American men cook, clean, do laundry, and take an active role in parenting, they respond by asking what I do? (usually this conversation happens when some woman is asking why I won’t marry her son/nephew/any Gambian man) Replying that I would go to the workplace and ALSO share in some of the housework, it doesn’t seem to be enough. Women are going to the workplace in increasing numbers here, and they are still responsible for the housework, and most get offended when I wonder aloud if that will change. My friend who is a teacher says that she used to teach all morning, then come home to cook lunch for her husband, then go back to work (this has changed since a second wife joined the family). The best I can say is “Yaama, that sure sounds like a lot of work.” She said that if she saw a man cooking, that she would complain that his wife was not good. Another female professional demanded that her husband hire a maid to cook and clean for them, but in no way demanded that he pitch in.
I’ve been similarly frustrated when talking to women professionals about working conditions, being a minority in the workplace, etc. I want to conduct a discussion on it in an up-coming Women’s and Girl’s Empowerment Camp, and was looking to see if people experience the same frustrations I do when working with Gambian men and balancing work and home life, and giving them a place to discuss coping strategies. I was baffled when no one mentioned any of the same frustrations. Do they not get pissed when a man talks over them? Does it not chap their ass when they are asked to do some menial task that the man is fully capable of doing himself? I don’t want to fish for these answers particularly, but I was surprised when they didn’t come up.
So how to discuss equalizing work loads without taking away someone’s pride in the job they do? Slowly slowly, Gambia. You’ll get there.
*Its important to mention that men do work too, of course. They build houses and fences. They dig wells. Men dig furrows for the rainy season crops. They slaughter animals. Its just that these jobs are seasonal, and so the Daily Working to Sitting-on-Their-Butts Ratio is a whole lot heavier on the sitting side than it is for women.
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