some kids playing in the yard.
my best friend
and me rocking some corn rows
Monday, March 1, 2010
Nonverbal Communication
MAN its hot outside. Our cold season this year was, like, a week long. Now its back to hot and dry with strong harmattan winds blowing from the northeast. The wind isn’t cool and refreshing though, its hot like standing underneath a hair dryer all day. Yikes. But hey, the cashews will be here again soon, and then the rains will come (and then the mold will come ;-/) and then the mangos will come!
With my Mandinka skills being as so-so as they are, I thought I would devote some space to Gambian non-verbal communication. Without even noticing, I use quite a few in theh day-to-day. Here are my favorites.
This is the general question hand. It means “where are you going?” or “how much does this cost?” Start with the palm facing downward, then dramatically turning the hand over. A driver might make this gesture as he approaches to ask if you are going his way, and whether you want a ride. This same interaction happens in reverse when hitch-hiking.
Eh?
This is a more emphatic version of the same gesture, and I usually translate it as “What the hell?” The hands clap together, then both sharply turn palms up.
WTF?
This is a threat. It serves as a warning to a child that if he does not stop what he is doing, he will be beaten. It is done by holding the middle finger steady with the thumb, then shaking the hand forcefully so that the index finger slaps against the middle finger. The louder the sound the better. Sometimes the threat continues as follows.
I am going to beat you.
Until you die.
Then I’m going to eat you.
This one is my favorite. It begins with arms bent at 90 degree angles to the body. They then they are brought sharply down to the sides (think of the chicken dance. Its like one chicken flap). Sometimes it is accompanied by the declaration “Mbang!” but just the gesture is understood fine. It means “I refuse!”
With my Mandinka skills being as so-so as they are, I thought I would devote some space to Gambian non-verbal communication. Without even noticing, I use quite a few in theh day-to-day. Here are my favorites.
This is the general question hand. It means “where are you going?” or “how much does this cost?” Start with the palm facing downward, then dramatically turning the hand over. A driver might make this gesture as he approaches to ask if you are going his way, and whether you want a ride. This same interaction happens in reverse when hitch-hiking.
Eh?
This is a more emphatic version of the same gesture, and I usually translate it as “What the hell?” The hands clap together, then both sharply turn palms up.
WTF?
This is a threat. It serves as a warning to a child that if he does not stop what he is doing, he will be beaten. It is done by holding the middle finger steady with the thumb, then shaking the hand forcefully so that the index finger slaps against the middle finger. The louder the sound the better. Sometimes the threat continues as follows.
I am going to beat you.
Until you die.
Then I’m going to eat you.
This one is my favorite. It begins with arms bent at 90 degree angles to the body. They then they are brought sharply down to the sides (think of the chicken dance. Its like one chicken flap). Sometimes it is accompanied by the declaration “Mbang!” but just the gesture is understood fine. It means “I refuse!”
Whatsoever a man can do, yadda yadda yadda
Hey all. So here’s something that I’ve found difficult. It seems to be coming up often lately, so I figured its worth writing about. The issues of women’s equality and empowerment is one that many people play lip-service to, partly because lots of NGOs get money to do “sensitizations” on the topic, but from what I can tell, not much is sinking in. Yes, you may say that “whatsoever a man can do, a woman can also do” but do you believe it?
It’s a sticky topic to discuss, partly because of the resistance that I meet from both women and men, but also because if I get worked up then I can’t be effective any more. The last thing I need to do is mouth off about how women here are oppressed, it puts people on the defensive and isn’t helpful. In other words, I really need to control my temper. I can’t get mad just because someone isn’t living my dream.
Oddly, I meet a lot of resistance on this topic from women. Women here do ALL the housework*--cooking, sweeping, laundry, bathing the children, fetching water, plus often some small income-generating activity like selling vegetables from the garden--and quite frankly they’re PROUD of it. They keep their family fed and healthy and it’s a big point of pride for them. I’m not trying to take that away from anyone. Usually when I mention that American men cook, clean, do laundry, and take an active role in parenting, they respond by asking what I do? (usually this conversation happens when some woman is asking why I won’t marry her son/nephew/any Gambian man) Replying that I would go to the workplace and ALSO share in some of the housework, it doesn’t seem to be enough. Women are going to the workplace in increasing numbers here, and they are still responsible for the housework, and most get offended when I wonder aloud if that will change. My friend who is a teacher says that she used to teach all morning, then come home to cook lunch for her husband, then go back to work (this has changed since a second wife joined the family). The best I can say is “Yaama, that sure sounds like a lot of work.” She said that if she saw a man cooking, that she would complain that his wife was not good. Another female professional demanded that her husband hire a maid to cook and clean for them, but in no way demanded that he pitch in.
I’ve been similarly frustrated when talking to women professionals about working conditions, being a minority in the workplace, etc. I want to conduct a discussion on it in an up-coming Women’s and Girl’s Empowerment Camp, and was looking to see if people experience the same frustrations I do when working with Gambian men and balancing work and home life, and giving them a place to discuss coping strategies. I was baffled when no one mentioned any of the same frustrations. Do they not get pissed when a man talks over them? Does it not chap their ass when they are asked to do some menial task that the man is fully capable of doing himself? I don’t want to fish for these answers particularly, but I was surprised when they didn’t come up.
So how to discuss equalizing work loads without taking away someone’s pride in the job they do? Slowly slowly, Gambia. You’ll get there.
*Its important to mention that men do work too, of course. They build houses and fences. They dig wells. Men dig furrows for the rainy season crops. They slaughter animals. Its just that these jobs are seasonal, and so the Daily Working to Sitting-on-Their-Butts Ratio is a whole lot heavier on the sitting side than it is for women.
It’s a sticky topic to discuss, partly because of the resistance that I meet from both women and men, but also because if I get worked up then I can’t be effective any more. The last thing I need to do is mouth off about how women here are oppressed, it puts people on the defensive and isn’t helpful. In other words, I really need to control my temper. I can’t get mad just because someone isn’t living my dream.
Oddly, I meet a lot of resistance on this topic from women. Women here do ALL the housework*--cooking, sweeping, laundry, bathing the children, fetching water, plus often some small income-generating activity like selling vegetables from the garden--and quite frankly they’re PROUD of it. They keep their family fed and healthy and it’s a big point of pride for them. I’m not trying to take that away from anyone. Usually when I mention that American men cook, clean, do laundry, and take an active role in parenting, they respond by asking what I do? (usually this conversation happens when some woman is asking why I won’t marry her son/nephew/any Gambian man) Replying that I would go to the workplace and ALSO share in some of the housework, it doesn’t seem to be enough. Women are going to the workplace in increasing numbers here, and they are still responsible for the housework, and most get offended when I wonder aloud if that will change. My friend who is a teacher says that she used to teach all morning, then come home to cook lunch for her husband, then go back to work (this has changed since a second wife joined the family). The best I can say is “Yaama, that sure sounds like a lot of work.” She said that if she saw a man cooking, that she would complain that his wife was not good. Another female professional demanded that her husband hire a maid to cook and clean for them, but in no way demanded that he pitch in.
I’ve been similarly frustrated when talking to women professionals about working conditions, being a minority in the workplace, etc. I want to conduct a discussion on it in an up-coming Women’s and Girl’s Empowerment Camp, and was looking to see if people experience the same frustrations I do when working with Gambian men and balancing work and home life, and giving them a place to discuss coping strategies. I was baffled when no one mentioned any of the same frustrations. Do they not get pissed when a man talks over them? Does it not chap their ass when they are asked to do some menial task that the man is fully capable of doing himself? I don’t want to fish for these answers particularly, but I was surprised when they didn’t come up.
So how to discuss equalizing work loads without taking away someone’s pride in the job they do? Slowly slowly, Gambia. You’ll get there.
*Its important to mention that men do work too, of course. They build houses and fences. They dig wells. Men dig furrows for the rainy season crops. They slaughter animals. Its just that these jobs are seasonal, and so the Daily Working to Sitting-on-Their-Butts Ratio is a whole lot heavier on the sitting side than it is for women.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
our mothers were right, veggies are good for you
hey everybody,
Lately I've been noticing just how jaded I am on what normal development looks like in children. There are kids here who are big, for The Gambia, their hair is the right color, and so I assume that they are developing normally. But lately, Gambian relatives who are living in Europe have been visiting with their children. These kids are huge! For example, my host brother is two years old and is always eating, has lots of hair, is getting taller and runs around like a healthy kid. So I assumed that he was on the healthy track for development. But to see these Gambian toddlers being raised in the West eating vitamin fortified food, and man I'm shocked. One little girl is a year younger and a full head and shoulders taller than my younger brother. yikes.
One thing the Gambian kids have going for them is their sense of sharing. Foreign kids are BRATS. Gambian kids share everything with each other. Everybody takes bites of each other's cookies, everyone takes a lick of everyone's lollipop(yes, I recognize the germy consequences, but I'm focusing on the social advantages here), and no one cries about it. Foreign kids throw tantrums. Go Gambia. Now lets all eat vegetables together.
Lately I've been noticing just how jaded I am on what normal development looks like in children. There are kids here who are big, for The Gambia, their hair is the right color, and so I assume that they are developing normally. But lately, Gambian relatives who are living in Europe have been visiting with their children. These kids are huge! For example, my host brother is two years old and is always eating, has lots of hair, is getting taller and runs around like a healthy kid. So I assumed that he was on the healthy track for development. But to see these Gambian toddlers being raised in the West eating vitamin fortified food, and man I'm shocked. One little girl is a year younger and a full head and shoulders taller than my younger brother. yikes.
One thing the Gambian kids have going for them is their sense of sharing. Foreign kids are BRATS. Gambian kids share everything with each other. Everybody takes bites of each other's cookies, everyone takes a lick of everyone's lollipop(yes, I recognize the germy consequences, but I'm focusing on the social advantages here), and no one cries about it. Foreign kids throw tantrums. Go Gambia. Now lets all eat vegetables together.
youth of brikama! lets wrap it up!
Hey all! Its been awhile! I just finished with two sessions on condom use with my peer health club at the high school. Two sessions, because I split them up into boys and girls so as to, hopefully, make them more comfortable to participate and learn. Both sessions were really different, but both turned out great.
The girls were few, but those who showed fully participated, and asked questions. I did an ice-breaker activity involving condom balloons. They rolled with it. They watched me demonstrate correct use on a bottle of sunscreen, then practiced for themselves. It was a somewhat easy forum for this, even though they are shy. The premise of their club is to educate themselves on health topics, then teach their peers, so I could really focus on how everyone should have good information to share with their friends, that way no one had to admit to having a boyfriend (though I’m sure they all know who has and who doesn’t). What really impressed me was the dialogue though, both what they created with me and with each other. They asked questions about common beliefs (“my friend says when you use a condom and throw it away at the end, you’re throwing away a baby. Is that true?”) and discussed common ideas about family planning, and asked enough questions about the available methods that I now know I have to do a whole session on it. One girl was really gung-ho, while the others hung back. I thought it was great that she did all the talking about the need to plan you’re pregnancies, and that maybe three is enough children that I didn’t have to be the toubab preaching these ideas. They are already here.
The boys were different, much more raunchy and macho (but very respectful of me personally), but just as open to asking questions. People seem to have this idea that the lubricant that comes on condoms is bad. I’m working hard to dispel that belief. There are also a variety of herbal remedies for all sorts of male problems or insecurities, and they had a lot of questions about that. I like having sessions that go so well, everyone seems relaxed and all the information gets out. It gives a great Peace Corps high.
That said, it really is the middle of my service. I was sworn in as volunteer just over a year ago. Time flew. It’s a bit of a strange time right now just because I’m pretty integrated, I know a lot of people and I feel like I’m a valued part of the community. I feel like I’ve got a pretty good handle on what is feasible from the ground, and who to talk to to get things done. It feels really good. Its what I came for, the experience of being integrated and familiar with a culture so different from my own. I think that’s why I don’t update as much anymore, because things seem so normal. I don’t blog about my daily life at home, and it almost seems as silly to do so now.
But on the other hand, even though I’m so much better able to work effectively than when I first got here, and things flow pretty smoothly in the day to day, now is also the time to start planning for when I get home. That’s pretty scary. Eek.
The girls were few, but those who showed fully participated, and asked questions. I did an ice-breaker activity involving condom balloons. They rolled with it. They watched me demonstrate correct use on a bottle of sunscreen, then practiced for themselves. It was a somewhat easy forum for this, even though they are shy. The premise of their club is to educate themselves on health topics, then teach their peers, so I could really focus on how everyone should have good information to share with their friends, that way no one had to admit to having a boyfriend (though I’m sure they all know who has and who doesn’t). What really impressed me was the dialogue though, both what they created with me and with each other. They asked questions about common beliefs (“my friend says when you use a condom and throw it away at the end, you’re throwing away a baby. Is that true?”) and discussed common ideas about family planning, and asked enough questions about the available methods that I now know I have to do a whole session on it. One girl was really gung-ho, while the others hung back. I thought it was great that she did all the talking about the need to plan you’re pregnancies, and that maybe three is enough children that I didn’t have to be the toubab preaching these ideas. They are already here.
The boys were different, much more raunchy and macho (but very respectful of me personally), but just as open to asking questions. People seem to have this idea that the lubricant that comes on condoms is bad. I’m working hard to dispel that belief. There are also a variety of herbal remedies for all sorts of male problems or insecurities, and they had a lot of questions about that. I like having sessions that go so well, everyone seems relaxed and all the information gets out. It gives a great Peace Corps high.
That said, it really is the middle of my service. I was sworn in as volunteer just over a year ago. Time flew. It’s a bit of a strange time right now just because I’m pretty integrated, I know a lot of people and I feel like I’m a valued part of the community. I feel like I’ve got a pretty good handle on what is feasible from the ground, and who to talk to to get things done. It feels really good. Its what I came for, the experience of being integrated and familiar with a culture so different from my own. I think that’s why I don’t update as much anymore, because things seem so normal. I don’t blog about my daily life at home, and it almost seems as silly to do so now.
But on the other hand, even though I’m so much better able to work effectively than when I first got here, and things flow pretty smoothly in the day to day, now is also the time to start planning for when I get home. That’s pretty scary. Eek.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Sierra Leone: round 2
This entry includes our day-trip to River Number 2, and River number 2 Beach. River Number 2 has a lovely waterfall that we hiked to, and the beach is positively pristine. The local community runs a tourist resort there--food, lodging, etc--and all the proceeds go to running the community school. Its great, but part of the attraction was that it was so secluded and quiet. I’ve got to say that irresponsible tourism would totally ruin it. Maybe Gambian beaches were once so quiet and perfect as well.
This is us walking along the road, trying to find River Number 2. I just enjoy the redness of the soil.
This is the river and the falls (more like a gently trickling creek, pooling into a lagoon, but it was still great).
Here are some beach pics. It was lovely. The little boy just came out of nowhere and sat with us on the beach. He was super cute, and quiet. We figured either his mother sent him to beg from us, or he is just so used to white people coming to the beach, and probably doing fun things and eating good food that he is totally comfortable with them. Either way, he just sat and chilled.
.jpg)
fishing boats
and that was a day at the beach.
This is us walking along the road, trying to find River Number 2. I just enjoy the redness of the soil.
This is the river and the falls (more like a gently trickling creek, pooling into a lagoon, but it was still great).
Here are some beach pics. It was lovely. The little boy just came out of nowhere and sat with us on the beach. He was super cute, and quiet. We figured either his mother sent him to beg from us, or he is just so used to white people coming to the beach, and probably doing fun things and eating good food that he is totally comfortable with them. Either way, he just sat and chilled.
.jpg)
fishing boats
and that was a day at the beach.
Sierra Leone:round 1!
Hey all! It’s been awhile! The month of December flew by, I was busy…..doing awesome stuff….and not much in the mood to mass-communicate. So there. What did I do?
I went to Sierra Leone! If you have the chance to visit West Africa, I would highly recommend Sierra Leone. My friend Olga and I did our traveling together, because we decided to go rather spontaneously, the trip was not very clearly planned out. This only added to the adventure. ;-)
All the forthcoming updates are about that trip, you should try to read them in order. Most are pretty touristy-sounding (“and then we did THIS! And saw THIS! It was great!”) but allow me a minute to talk about the trip from a development point of view. Sierra Leone is doing so much better than Gambia. They had a huge bloody WAR and they seem to be doing better in a lot of ways. Education rates are higher, more people speak English. Their infrastructure is more present--buses THAT RUN ON SCHEDULE, paved roads WITH LITTLE LINES PAINTED ON THEM. My question is, given all that Sierra Leone has been through, why? Of course there is still poverty there, but why do they have their ducks in a row so much more than The Gam? Gambia is pretty peaceful. Gambia receives a metric shit-ton of European aid. Is it that religion plays a different role in people’s life in Sierra Leone than it does in Gambia (from what I could tell)? It must matter somewhat that back in the colonial days, the colonial seat of West Africa was in Sierra Leone, and not the Gam, hence the favoritism with better schools and roads and such, but why have they not caught up since then? It really was a frustrating thing to ponder while I was there. No answers, only questions. Anyway, on with the adventure!
We arrived outside of Freetown in the evening of Dec 6, and stayed with a friend of a friend. What struck me most was the terrain. Sierra Leone has mountains! Our plan from there was to find the Peace Corps office, and try to stay with volunteers. Some PC The Gambia staff had made it seem as if PC was currently active in Sierra Leone, and I would certainly put up a fellow volunteer for a few nights, so I thought we were set. As it turns out, PC is only in the process of becoming active in the country. Currently they have only their country director there, no other staff, no office, no volunteers. Ooops. Luckily, the new country director took pity on us , and allowed us to stay in some vacant apartments in the same building.
The following pictures are from around Freetown. There is the historic Cotton Tree. In itself, not all that exciting, they used to sell slaves underneath it. But THERE ARE BATS LIVING IN IT. Right out in the daylight in downtown Freetown. Heck Yeah.
This pic is of the historic Krio houses, built by slaves freed and returned from Britain. Note that they are built in an English style, rather than the indigenous style.
This is a view of the city from Signal Hill
.JPG)
I went to Sierra Leone! If you have the chance to visit West Africa, I would highly recommend Sierra Leone. My friend Olga and I did our traveling together, because we decided to go rather spontaneously, the trip was not very clearly planned out. This only added to the adventure. ;-)
All the forthcoming updates are about that trip, you should try to read them in order. Most are pretty touristy-sounding (“and then we did THIS! And saw THIS! It was great!”) but allow me a minute to talk about the trip from a development point of view. Sierra Leone is doing so much better than Gambia. They had a huge bloody WAR and they seem to be doing better in a lot of ways. Education rates are higher, more people speak English. Their infrastructure is more present--buses THAT RUN ON SCHEDULE, paved roads WITH LITTLE LINES PAINTED ON THEM. My question is, given all that Sierra Leone has been through, why? Of course there is still poverty there, but why do they have their ducks in a row so much more than The Gam? Gambia is pretty peaceful. Gambia receives a metric shit-ton of European aid. Is it that religion plays a different role in people’s life in Sierra Leone than it does in Gambia (from what I could tell)? It must matter somewhat that back in the colonial days, the colonial seat of West Africa was in Sierra Leone, and not the Gam, hence the favoritism with better schools and roads and such, but why have they not caught up since then? It really was a frustrating thing to ponder while I was there. No answers, only questions. Anyway, on with the adventure!
We arrived outside of Freetown in the evening of Dec 6, and stayed with a friend of a friend. What struck me most was the terrain. Sierra Leone has mountains! Our plan from there was to find the Peace Corps office, and try to stay with volunteers. Some PC The Gambia staff had made it seem as if PC was currently active in Sierra Leone, and I would certainly put up a fellow volunteer for a few nights, so I thought we were set. As it turns out, PC is only in the process of becoming active in the country. Currently they have only their country director there, no other staff, no office, no volunteers. Ooops. Luckily, the new country director took pity on us , and allowed us to stay in some vacant apartments in the same building.
The following pictures are from around Freetown. There is the historic Cotton Tree. In itself, not all that exciting, they used to sell slaves underneath it. But THERE ARE BATS LIVING IN IT. Right out in the daylight in downtown Freetown. Heck Yeah.
This pic is of the historic Krio houses, built by slaves freed and returned from Britain. Note that they are built in an English style, rather than the indigenous style.
This is a view of the city from Signal Hill
.JPG)
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